I LOVE snowdrops. They show me in life anything is possible and that beauty is always around us and in us. They are proof that we grow and can conquer in the midst of anything!

You too are blooming and growing, and can conquer anything. I had fun speaking to business groups while I was back East and had a phone interview with Guy Finley that felt to me just like the miracle of snowdrops. Guy Finley is a prolific author and human being who truly can help us live without fears in our lives, live more joyfully and prosperously. No matter what the circumstances. This is a conversation that will help you blossom right now wherever you are and never again feel powerless about anything. Listen and enjoy. It is an extraordinary opportunity with an extraordinary person! I will be visiting his foundation’s retreat center in Merlin, Oregon soon and will report back!

Click here to listen to this interview: Guy Finley

Guy Finley’s Fantastic book! We discussed many things including his fantastic book. I read it and loved it. Click here to learn more about Guy Finley at www.guyfinley.org and his new book “The Essential Laws of Fearless Living- How to Never Feel Powerless again”

So why did he berate so many of them? What made him so frustrated that he threatened to throw one actor out of his classes forever? What part of their preparation had they overlooked?

Their voices. He knew what these actors could be, and that their voices would be forever holding them back from their success. The fact of that drove him wild!

In turn the actors I saw had harrowing problems with projection, sentence follow through, voices that were caught in their throats and strangling their expressiveness, squeaky tones, poor enunciation, lack of vocal depth and ‘presence’….the list goes on.

I understood his frustration, and was keenly aware of the very dire urge I had to speak up and tell them simple things like, “You need to breathe right now! You are not breathing at all!” I am a voice specialist. I am a voice specialist because I believe the world needs to hear from all of us. It hurts me when people are not heard. The voice is the instrument by which you express yourself in the world, and especially for a career on the stage or in any public life you must practice it like an instrument. Dedicated practice also leads you to your personal power and discernment. For example, when I first began learning Alexander Technique training years ago, I noticed that it changed me in unexpected ways. I found that when I dropped my speaking voice down into my body where my deepest core feelings were that I needed to speak less often. When I did speak my words were economical and carried quiet strength. People noticed it and heard me in a new way. This same effect happens with all my students who use this process. Mature musicians also do this as their career extends into senior years, notice that they DO less and GIVE more. Each note has their personal authenticity. They are simply playing or singing their truth for us and we love them for it. Think Rosemary Clooney, Tony Bennett, Paul Robeson and you know what I mean.

I just attended a board meeting as a consultant to the client’s creative process and watched an important idea and proposal get summarily dismissed because the man speaking had a hesitant insecure voice and poor eye contact. His body language also did not support trust in him or his idea. He was not heard and he did not know the reason why. This happens to too many people and has maybe already happened to you. Great salespeople cobmat this because they know that would be customers decide in the first ten seconds of your pitch whether they will do business with you based on the sound of your voice. Using your voice of choice is important In many professions, using the true sound that carries the vibration of who you are as you speak can bring the world to your door.

Here are some universal problems actors and other professionals share:

1.Stage fright! Research on fear shows us that the number one fear of 99% of people is speaking in public. It is greater than the fear of death!
2. Authenticity and believability.
3. Shallow breath and poor projection
4. Memory lapses
5. Weak body language.
6. Emotional separation from the audience.
7. Poor tone and pitch variation
8. Awkward jokes and off timing of punch lines
9. Many nervous gestures
10. Tight throat, dry mouth, racing pulse, racing heart

Here are some suggestions to make you a more comfortable and successful speaker or performer.

1. Take slow deep abdominal breaths. Imagine the air actually entering your body right behind your navel and filling the bottom of your lungs gently and comfortingly with air. You can repeat a phrase while you do this like “I breathe in peace, I breath out fear.” Or ‘I breath in comfort, I breathe out worry.” Exhale slowly. This will slow you down and increase oxygen to your brain for mental clarity. Train yourself by doing this every day. It will become a habit of excellence, and will improve your presence, focus and concentration.

2. Train yourself to be with one person at a time in your audience for the length of a complete thought. Let your eyes be soft and make contact with them naturally like you would with a friend while you are speaking to them. You will find that most people will return the friendly exchange and it will become a comfort to you.

3. A great performance is the art of tension and release. If you become flustered just stop. Silence is OK. It is a dramatic color great actors and speakers ALWAYS USE. Don’t be afraid to stop, take a breath, re-focus and begin again with your next thought. The power of silence is intriguing, and once you discover how it focuses your audience, you will choose to use it intentionally in your work!

4. There are many subtleties to your use of vocal volume. Study the shadings of volume between loud and soft that you naturally speak with every day. Study the types of laughter you have in a day and the many qualities each one has. Learn to tap into what you sound like naturally and use that as your foundation to become personal with your audience. The way you smile and laugh with an infant is different that the way you laugh at your boss’s joke. Take notice of the times when you are comfortable in your own skin and reproduce them inside yourself wherever possible. It works!

5. Soften your knees and feel the floor underneath you. Because of tension, so many speakers brace against the floor with rigid legs, which only causes more tension. Bracing yourself against the floor(or against life) does not make you strong, it makes you weaker and less resilient.. Remember the old saying about the tree that bends in the wind? Softening your knees also brings your body over your center of gravity. Being over your center of gravity sends the message that you are connected with your subject, your mission, that you are capable and trustworthy. Indeed in conveying these things they return to nourish you again as you speak making you stronger and more confident. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

6. Warm up! Yes, stretch and yawn and bend from the waist to the front, back and sides. Breathe deep and roll your shoulders in big circles. Stretching releases the minds ‘hold’ on your body and you will feel more relaxed and resourceful.

7. Warm up! Your voice is your instrument. You need to do exercises to warm it up. The stadium doesn’t pay to watch athletes do sit –ups but the player won’t hit a homerun for the audience if he hasn’t done his workout. Try these.

8. Before you speak, hum to yourself backstage for several minutes. Open your teeth about an inch and close your lips in front of your open teeth. Then begin to hum. You may notice a buzzing feeling in your nose and on your teeth. This is GOOD. Your are finding your places of resonance. Speaking into this same area on a good strong breath will make your voice more resonant and colorful.

9. Time tested tongue twisters help you with diction. These really work. Repeat as perfectly as you can “Red Leather Yellow Leather”, now speed it up until your speed and accuracy increases. Try the same with “Good blood, bad blood”.

10. Enjoy yourself as much as you can. People really want to feel like you want to be with them. A lot of public speaking success is simply that people feel welcome to be with you, bumps, warts and all. Sometimes you are the most endearing when you least know it. The things that make us all human and connected are the things that are our imperfections. Smile and accept yourself as you are right now. If you can feel that you are enough as you are, then you give us permission to accept ourselves. And we love you for it!

11. Find a mentor. And get some good coaching to be your best.

People don’t often realize that when they meet someone for the first time they evaluate each other within 90 seconds in 4 ways on a super-alert subconscious level.

The instant people meet someone new in any situation they evaluate them with two absolutely crucial appraisals that have to do with assessing their safety: “I do/do not feel safe with them” and “I do/do not trust them”. Here are the consequences and solutions:

Depending on how they feel at their decision People make a snap ‘blink-of-the-eye’ decision whether to open up further or shut the other person right down.

To be successful at work and career or dating people need to know how to manage those first few seconds.

Those who are dating, speed dating, job hunting, networking or business socializing will have more success from knowing the four ways we evaluate each other in 90 seconds. Managing these 4 evaluations will grow relationships the way they are wanted to grow faster and easier.

Top professional speaking coach Dianne Legro offers the following 5 tips on how to connect instantly with others with confidence and ease so people can maximize their chances of producing the favorable results they want.

1. Watch Your Attitude — The very first quality we register about another person is their attitude. The good news for those of you who dread socializing, are not natural networkers, or interviewees or are nervous daters is that you can choose you attitude!

The top three attitudes to choose (that test with highest responses) are enthusiasm, curiosity, and humility. So go ahead and choose one of these three the next time you feel challenged socially or romantically and you will start off strong.

The number one trait most admired by others is your health and vitality. This means simply “are you bringing energy into the room or are you taking it out. Are you contributing to life or are you not?” This is #1 trait people admire in each other.

2. Make and Maintain Your Eye Contact – The second ‘trust’ evaluation people make when they meet you is based on your eye contact.

Offer an open gaze, neutral and friendly and focused on the other person. When you meet and shake hands it is imperative that you maintain a welcoming connected gaze.

The consequences are dire. I have clients who have canceled major business deals because eye contact was diverted when the partners first met. The future partner was perceived as untrustworthy and the deal opportunity was lost.

3. Relax and Smile When You Speak – The third quality people evaluate is the voice. Is your speaking voice relaxed, resonant, expressive, vital inviting? Clients sometimes hire me because their voices are the opposite of these things. I fix men and women’s high pitched, nasal, annoying, immature sounding and tight voices because it has is cost them business and relationships. Telemarketers know this fact- on the phone people decide to do business with you in 10 seconds or less based on the sound of your voice. The fastest way to warm and enliven the voice is to smile when you are speaking. Place a mirror by your phone with a note attached that says Smile! Watch yourself and guide yourself to speaking with a smile. People can hear it and they will treat you more invitingly. Breathe deeply in your abdomen instead of high in the chest. It helps your voice to drop in to your body when your voice is stuck in your throat and feeling and sounding tight.

4. Control Your Hands and Gestures Finally, your gestures and body language speak volumes about you. You are constantly speaking non verbally and what you are not aware you are saying could be turning people off.

The first thing about body language to remember is that people trust people who seem to be like them.

Learn to mirror the person you are talking with. If they have a distinctive posture, subtly mirror that posture, watch for their voice pitch and speed, their style of humor and speaking style.

They will bond with you faster and consider dating you because you seem to be like them.

5. Express Yes! Here is a very special interview and dating tip: When you are asking someone a question nod your head up and down. As they answer you continue nodding. This single action communicates interest and support for a person. They will answer you with a more positive unguarded response, they will enjoy the interaction with you more and their trust of you will continue to go up.

Where does this take people? More Easily into “The Cupid Zone!”, where feelings and emotions are engaged.

The gains to you of practicing these characteristics and behaviors is that they shape who you will become in powerful positive ways. Perhaps you become someone who welcomes others warmly, listens more intently, smiles more often, contributes and brings life and energy into the room . You will no longer have to remember “tips’ on how to be… because you become them. You become a person that others want to be around, do business with and even fall in love with.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Dianne Legro, speaker, author, top speaking coach and popular media guest is CEO of Speaking Success International. Dianne is an expert on performance and presentation skills. Coming from a background on Broadway, she is hailed as “The Star Power Speaking Coach”. She coaches executives, entrepreneurs, authors to become brilliant public speakers with her process for star power presentation skills and communication skills. She has spoken to over a million people worldwide on passion, how to give outstanding performances everyday. Dianne is an in demand international keynote speaker and presenter. Find out more at www.speakingsuccessinternational.com

*You have our permission to reprint this article as long as the last paragraph with the contact information for Dianne Legro remains intact

Click here to listen: terrimurphy.mp3

I asked Terri what she is doing in her successful businesses right now and what she is seeing others doing that is working. Terri says the businesses that will survive and thrive will answer yes to this question:

“Can you provide company value to four different generations working together side by side?” Providing value propositions to ONE group is today is challenging enough, but Terri says, “There are four different generations working side by side. No one size fits all. In a downturn like ours, training gets cut, conventions and meetings get cut, and if you are a trainer or speaker the key to resonating is to figure out how to provide value to all.” How can you provide value? Terri is from Chicago, an energetic, witty, quick insider who gets it about listening to people. She says companies are confused and challenged about how to add value to their people.

She says another key she uses to provide value is to do an intense and authentic Needs Analysis with a client group. Then if you give a keynote or training, deliver added follow-on value after the event in the mediums in which your client will learn best. This will mean you could provide a follow up webinar, Q&A follow up group call, a podcast follow up, a teleconference meeting, Article, Tips, Virtual learning, free coaching call, develop an eblast and more. Any way that you can provide value will keep you in top of mind awareness and you will be consulted when the next series of issues arises. Be an ally. I talk about strategic alliances all the time and becoming a resource for your clients. Who can you refer? Who can refer you?

Listen to this podcast for the exciting treat of hearing Terri. Her energy and strategies are top notch and will spark your own ideas for how to serve your clients, create trust and loyalty and bring in money for your business in this economy.

Resources:

Womenswisdomnetwork.com
Terrimurphy.com
National Speakers Association

Need help speaking or with your business? Contact me direct: dianne@diannelegro.com

Coaches and service providers just don’t understand how easy it is to talk to a group of people… I am asked everyday if it is possible to become a speaker, to get paid, to find audiences, to get bookings… and so on. Let me bust some myths for you that you yourself might be having that could be holding you back unnecessarily from speaking in public.

Contrary to popular belief, (maybe yours?) it is possible to speak publicly and be authentic, have a smooth, successful, enjoyable experience. For that to happen, though, you may need to debunk a few of these common myths about public speaking.

1. Myth #1 You must memorize your speech. Yes, practice your speech repeatedly, but it’s more effective to memorize concepts than words. You don’t have to memorize the entire thing. It is best to memorize your opening and your close and use the note system that works best for you. There are several choices for effective note systems.

2. Myth #2. Your Introductions aren’t that important. Because they prepare the audience for your message, introductions should be carefully written, Moreover, your intro should always be written by you, it has a job to do, and done right will create excitement in the audience for your entrance.

3. Myth #3. A powerful speaker uses a lectern. No. Ditch this barrier between you and your audience. The lecturn police says ,”Step away from the lecturn” and connect!

4. Myth #4. It’s best to stand in place and minimize movement. Not for the whole talk. Doing so, you appear stiff, not calm. You use your stillness and movement strategically. We actually design your movements so you know when, where, why and how you will move. Purposeful, authentic animation increases the audience’s energy and yours too!

5. Myth #5. Everyone wants to hear your message. Not always.. Not everyone may be there by choice. So to keep everyone’s attention, keep your information meaningful and your style interesting. I specialize in helping speakers design for the three different ways adults listen , so you never leave anyone out.

6. Myth #6 Good speakers don’t get nervous. Everyone LOL! The best speakers still get nervous! Some nervousness is good, it keeps you on your toes, energized.

7. Myth #7 You’re speaking to an audience. No. You speak to individuals one at a time, no matter how many are in the seats. The secret to this is in how you make your eye contact.

8. Myth #8 Your speech has to be perfect. Actually, your speech is not about you. It’s about your audience. Keep your focus on what they need. Be of service, have good content, think how much your information will help them. Be real, present, and authentic they forgive your personal imperfections and will love you for helping provide a solution they need.

9. Myth #9 The faciltity has the equipment you need or can work with what you bring. Don’t assume anything! Check equipment, bring back-up materials, prepare for the unexpected. Big topic, I will write more on the blog…

10 Myth #10 No one would pay you to speak. If you can help people make money, solve a problem, increase attendance, enrich lives-or when you’re just gooood- they will pay!

Make 2009 the year you step out and share the meaning and solutions you offer with your target audiences. Myth #11? It takes a long time to get started speaking. Anyone who has a business or a practice today can and should be out speaking to groups from Day One. I have seen the dramatic success speaking quickly brings to businesses and want you to have it too.

There just is no better, faster, easier and rewarding way to grow your business, your influence and your profits this year. You can do it! I guarantee it. I provide the coaching to show you how with my products and one to one premium coaching programs.